How! - Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buckskin clothes, etc. As a pretty woman would walk by, he would raise his right hand, in an Indian greeting, and say " Wanna ". I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became more curious as he kept making these greetings. Finally, I couldn't resist any longer. I went up to the native American, and said, "I have been watching you, and I am confused. I thought that Indians say "How " He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said... "ME KNOW HOW...ME TRYING TO FIND WOMAN WHO WANNA!!"
Wanted: Woman! - Seen in the want ads: A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frogs legs, who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden, classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. Feel free to apply, but please only read lines 1, 3, and 5.
Pink and Purple - What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip, man, its all in the grip!
Stockmarket - You might be a redneck if... You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Ten Reasons Adam Was the Luckiest Man - 1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married. 2. He had no in-laws to drop in. 3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with. 4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers. 5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen. 6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe. 7. He never had to shovel snow! 8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal. 9. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good. 10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."
Superbowl - Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Boat - You might be a redneck if... Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Sun Went - Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.
The blonde bank robbers! - Two blondes were planning to rob a bank. The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second. They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank. The first blonde says to the second blonde, "Are you SURE you understand the plan?" "Yes!" replied the second blonde. So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank. Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned. The first blonde gets very nervous. Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down. "No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!"